Why cant I meditate properly

Have you been in the position where although you have tried hard you just can’t seem to get your dharma practice working? You keep telling yourself that you should learn how to meditate or meditate each day for a week but, then life gets in the road!

You are not alone!

Most practitioners have faced this problem at some point. Some make it through, while others simply give up. If you want to be one of those who makes it, you need three key elements – patience, perseverance and consistency.

Patience is key for any endeavor be it spiritual or not. Would you expect someone to become a great musician in months? No of course you wouldn’t. So why get frustrated. Have patience and you will become better and always remind yourself that it will take time and in some cases allot of time. How much time I hear you ask! Well that will depend on the individual and your natural abilities. But most importantly it depends on consistency. Your consistency has a direct bearing on just how long that is.

Consistency is related to perseverance, in that without it, consistency will not arise naturally. Don’t think that just making up your mind to practice meditation each day is enough to set you self on a stable course. The decision to start is great but, if it no more than a spurt of energy or a reaction to an event in your live, then you are doomed to fail. For dharma practice and meditation to stay in gear so to speak, consistency is the most important element of the three.

Think of your practice like a set of scales. If you wanted to shift the balance of a set of scales from one side to the other, and you could only move one small weight per day. It will take longer if you only move a weight once a week or when we you have some free time, correct! Not only that but, what if on every day you didn’t move a weight, a weight was moved back to it’s original side! You will never shift the balance of the scales. So you can see from this that consistency is very important. 20 minutes of meditation a day everyday is better than 2 hours every week on a Sunday. Is 2 hours on a Sunday worthwhile you bet but, without a regular session your mind like a set of scales cannot make great advances along the path.

Perseverance without the ability to keep trying many people give up! They are unable to see the benefits of meditation and after a while think that it would be better if they go and do something…anything!
When you feel you motivation waning, read material on the benefits of meditation, or the biographies of the great yogis. Inspire yourself to give it one more crack!

With consistent practice you will be meditating just like the great masters of the past and present.
But remember meditation without proper study is like trying to cut a piece of steak with your finger.

Here is another post on developing a meditation practice

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Western Funerals and Buddhist prayers

Earlier this week my monastery got a call from someone who’s mother had past away and they wanted a monk to says some prayers at the funeral.  The mother was a Buddhist sympathizer and had recently been to Burma to participate in the protests there.

I was asked by to attend and to chant the Je Tsong Khapa Lamrim prayer and two dedication prayer written by Geshe Loden.
I often have fun at these events because people are more open at these times and you can get all types of people asking all sorts of questions. So it is a good chance to smooth out some of the misconceptions that the average Joe or Mary has about Dharma and boy there are some strange ideas about what Buddhism is!

I was asked back to the wake which was just around the corner and so of course I went. The afternoon was nice and I spent most of the 3 hours fielding questions ranging from what is meditation to how does Buddhism explain evolution! 

During the actual funeral ceremony when it came time for the Buddhist part. I started by given a small introduction into Buddhism as the Lamrim prayer would be quite difficult for people to understand that have had no exposure to Dharma.
Then I recited the prayer and went back and sat back down. Later on I thought to ask Geshe-la about this as perhaps the prayer was not the best one to recite. So, when I got back home I went straight up to Geshe-la room, knocked on the door (3 times) and entered quietly. Geshe-la looked at me smile and said come in sit, sit, there, there, you sit there. I explained to him about the events of the day and then I remembered I had to ask about the Lamrim prayer. I was going to ask whether the prayer was a little too difficult for non Buddhists but, I didn’t even get the sentence fully out…maybe the first 2 or 3 words when Geshe-la interjected saying this prayer much power! So that was that the prayer stays

I guess it’s a karmic thing that leaves an deep imprint in the hearers mind!

As I walked out of Geshe-la room I thought WOW I am so lucky to be here.

The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying

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Why do Buddhists meditate on death

I have heard people ask this question before. I’ve even seen friends and relatives turn away in fright when the subject of death meditation comes up. But the purpose of meditating on death is not to be morbid, negative or to induce fear. Anytime you think that Buddhism is being negative, I can guarantee you that you have misunderstand something. Buddhism is about replacing dysfunctional states of mind with functional minds. So the question is really what is the purpose of meditating on death.

Generally speaking we are so busy with our lives that finding time to sit down and practice is not an easy task. Even when we really want to meditate, life can get in the road! This is where death meditation come into play as it is a powerful motivating force. Why, because death is final! Once you are dead you aint got no more time to practice…the jig is up!

So just as sports people us different techniques to motivate themselves and their team mates, Buddhist use the finality of death to motivate themselves, and to reinforce a sense of urgency about the real situation.

So you can see that it is not something to be frightened by but, in fact it can be the rocket fuel that will help you become a great meditate. Of course if you have read this far then you are less likely to issues with death meditation. So lets get into the meaty stuff.

Developing an aspiration for benefiting future lives

Qualm: Why do I need to develop an aspiration to benefit a life that has not even come into being!
Answer: By not doing so you run the risk of becoming too focused on this life and in doing so you can weaken your practice. Sure you need to take care of your family, friends, you need to work to pay the bills. This is not what is meant by too focused.
Being too focused means you become more concerned with how other people see you and so your reputation becomes very important to you. This in turn mans you start to act in a way that you think they will like! You seek the approval of others.

That one example, another might be money. Many people worry unnecessarily about money. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t think about it, work in order to get more. It means worrying about it is unless! Worry and doubt are very be problems and quite a debilitating mind. A disease of the mind, in that it can rot your mind getting worse and worse over time.

The faults of not meditating on death

By not meditating on death you will not remember the dharma. Of course even if you do remember the dharma you won’t practice as you think something like…ah I’ll do it after dinner or when I retire or over the weekend. Even if you practice the dharma you will not do so purely because you are focused on this life. You might think something like by learning meditating I will become very peaceful and attractive and then everyone will love me. It’s clear that mediating with a motivation like that is not good in fact from a Mahayana point of view this would not even be regarded as a Buddhist meditation. My teacher says that meditating like this is selfish, meditation is about benefiting both yourself and others.

Without an awareness of your own immortality you will lack persistence with meditation and are much more likely to perform non-virtuous actions as you will mistaken think that there is plenty of time to fix it later. Or you might just not care!

Unfortunately without this awareness you will die with regret. Now I have seen this happen first hand. Someone coming to our center year in year out. Dies of cancer with the thought I could have done more! Oh god I wish I had practiced more!

This is very sad to watch someone struggle like this.

Below is a 9 round death meditation. It is made up of 3 propositions, 9 reasons and 3 decisions.

How to meditate on death

Death is definite

1: Death will definitely come, nothing can stop it.

2: Life span is continuously decreasing

3: Death will come regardless of whether you have made time to practice or not

Decision: It is definite that I will die and so I must practice dharma!

Time of death is uncertain

1: The life span of beings is this world is uncertain

Shantideva, Engaging in the Bodhisattva Deeds

Remaining nether day nor night,
This life is constantly slipping by
And never getting any longer.
Why will death not come to one like me!

2: There are more factors conductive to death than life
a: External factors
b: Internal factors
c: Things that generally support life can become the cause of your demise

3: Our bodies are very fragile

Decision: As I am not sure when I will die, I must practice dharma now!

At the time of death, only the dharma can help

1: Friends cant help – you have to leave by yourself.

2: Your wealth cant help you – you cant take your money with you or buy a first class seat into the next life.

3: Body cannot help you through the death process.

Decision: As nothing but the dharma can benefit me at my time of death. I must practice dharma purely!

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