5 ways to becoming a better Buddhist
By Loden Jinpa on Apr 3, 2008 in Intermediate Buddhism, Lamrim, Mind Training
So you want to be a great meditator. You want your life to improve and you want realizations, correct?
Below are 5 basic characteristics you need to cultivate.
- Honesty
- Wisdom
- Enthusiasm
- Respect
- Listen
1: Honesty
Being honest means not just telling truths. It mean having the ability to discern personality faults with pragmatism. This may seem obvious but, the ability to see subtle psychological traits is like seeing something from the corner of your eye. If there is not even a willingness to look, there will not be a willingness to see these traits as faults. How will you remove something that you don’t see as a fault?
2: Wisdom
So you have looked into the corner of your psyche now what! Wisdom is the capacity not only to see faults as faults but, also to see qualities as qualities. To know what to cultivate and encourage in our thoughts and emotions and what to remove to a type of wisdom. Simply put, it is knowing right from wrong.
3: Enthusiasm
Without enthusiasm your practice will be like Melbourne weather. Sunny one minute, raining the next.
Without enthusiasm laziness and a lack of joy for practice will easily creep in. Next you will be saying…meditation…what’s that? To combat laziness and engender enthusiasm, one need to see clearly the benefits of the goal at hand. If you are studying difficult philosophical texts or in meditation retreat, the greater appreciation you have for the benefits of your efforts, the less likely that problems will arise when you meet with difficulties…and you will meet them…trust me. Doubt, frustration and negative thoughts will arise, you need to seeing them as just difficulties and move on.
4: Respect
Respect for your teachers, parents, friends, strangers, enemies and yourself is the foundation of compassion. If you do not respect your own life, how can you expect to generate this for others. If you cannot generate genuine respect, how can you expect to generate compassion. Enough said!
5: Listen
Listen to your teacher, this is an easy one right? Anyone that has spent time with high Lamas will know that to really listen is not so easy. Many times when we seek the benefits of a teacher, we do so with baggage from past relationships. We can simply and without even knowing so, try to make the teacher become the father we never had. This approach will not work. To listen means to listen with an open mind and a willingness to do what your told. If you ask a question about how to practice or whether to accept a job. Ask the question with an openness that is willing to do whatever they say regardless of the answer. If you are not willing to do this, don’t ask questions.
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For #5, what about the baggage that teachers have from past relationships or just in general?
That’s a very pragmatic list - nice! I’m interested in your answer to Al’s question as well, and have a collary: how do you know when you encounter resistance in yourself if it’s your baggage or your teacher’s that you’re responding to?
Of course, I realize that one traditional answer, which I’ve heard a number of times, is that the teacher has no baggage as your guru. It’s all you.
In my case I have been blessd with 3 extraordinary teachers. His Holiness Dalai Lama, Geshe Thubten Loden and Geshe Jampa Gyatso. I have lived with Geshe Loden for over 13 years.
However if a teacher is an ordinary person then, yes that would be an issue.
I personally wouldn’t accept someone as a teacher who has baggage that was so manifestly obvious that I could see it.
Here is a post of finding a teacher. It lists recommended qualities
http://lodenjinpa.com/2007/09/10/the-need-for-a-teacher/
@Arwen
Yes, this is difficult and a potentially dangerous area as it can need to what Al has described.
There are people around who can abuse the teacher/student relationship and it is therefore imperative that a student uses his/her own wisdom through critical thinking in these circumstances.
@Al
I personally believe this traditional approach is useful for people at a certain point.
Namely after you have gained some level of realizations yourself. At first we need to cultivate our faculty of thinking.
Being able to penetrate the teaching…The Buddha also said you are your own protector who else will be that protector.
And also about the qualities of the guru. If you choose a teacher too quickly this is an indication that something in the student is at fault. For example, why would you accept a teacher if they had faults? If the faults are there, then they were there before you accepted the teacher. However if your teacher does turn crazy, then leave! Without being negative of course.
This is just my initial thoughts
I understand where you are coming from and you have had blessed circumstances it seems.
I’m a householder so it really isn’t possible for me to move anywhere in the world in order to find a teacher. When I was involved in Tibetan Vajrayana (my involvement is in Japanese mikkyo, mostly, at this point), I found that teachers of any sort were few and far between.
Most lamas rove from place to place and then go back to India. It has been called the “Rock Band” mode of teaching in that the lama and his entourage comes into a town, gives a series of teachings and empowerments to adoring students, and then leaves. These students are then left to implement them to varying degrees of success. The lack of access to a teacher was the largest single issue that I encountered in Vajrayana until I pretty much gave up looking within that tradition.
I won’t speak ill of any teachers and, really, I haven’t seen any issues with any in my personal experience (though some of my companions have) but the circle of people around them, such as attendants, have clearly manifested many issues, possibly through a combination of both love of their teacher and jealousy of losing the teacher to others.
Cities lucky enough to have a lama present are few and far between. Cities with more than one are much rarer. If there are one or two teachers where you can reach them and they have 200 students, what is the solution?
For me, it became clear that unless I was willing to divorce, say “good bye” to my daughter, and quit working in order to head to Asia, that I was unlikely to gain much access to a specific teacher.
This is much longer than I attended but it can be concisely said as “You get the teacher that your karma makes available to you or not at all. You don’t necessarily get many choices without dedicating your entire life to it.” Of course, I’m saying this to a monk…
This is not a new phenomenon, Marpa had to travel to India.
It seems to me and please don’t take this personally. My motivation is to help not hinder
You were looking for a friend. Why do you have to live close to the guru to have a relationship?
Why does it matter how many other students the teacher has? If they are a REAL teacher then they will know your mind.
Write them letters to get answers to your questions.
>Cities lucky enough to have a lama present are few and far between. Cities with more than one are much rarer.
Perhaps this is an issue in America. In Australia and many European countries this is simply not the case.
Perhaps that is a karmic thing?
>If there are one or two teachers where you can reach them and they have 200 students, what is the solution?
Geshe Loden has hundreds of student and most don’t live with him. Yet I know first hand that he is there for each and everyone like a father. Does that mean he asked them how their day was when they get home? No. The teacher is not meant to be a father, wet-nurse best friend or partner. Their role is to show you the way out of Samsara. But it is up to you where you end up.
Geshe Loden said to me recently…meditation is your Guru…your wisdom is your Guru!
>For me, it became clear that unless I was willing to divorce, say “good bye” to my daughter, and quit working in order to head to Asia, that I was unlikely to gain much access to a specific teacher.
BS…that is an extreme thought.
There is no reason, what so ever, that you cannot practice Dharma with gusto while remaining where you are with your wife and child and working! If this was not the case Buddhism would be rendered useless! The most important thing is to practice. Practicing only when in certain circumstances or only if you can be with a teacher is not what the teacher would want. Surely if there is any truth in Buddhism it can be translated into modern Western culture. If there is truth in Buddhism then it can be useful to modern American husbands and fathers. If it cannot be of use to people such as yourself, then..to use an Americanism…Huston we have a problem….sorry bad joke
>This is much longer than I attended but it can be concisely said as “You get the teacher that your karma makes available to you or not at all. You don’t necessarily get many choices without dedicating your entire life to it.” Of course, I’m saying this to a monk…
Al, your life is what you make of it. I would say that your wife and daughter teach you plenty about patience…am I right?
Why is this not Dharma? Surely it can be? Moreover, if you could engage them with Bodhichitta then that merit would be far greater than many of those so called “lucky people” listening to their teacher via translations in India.
My suggestion would be to read authentic Dharma books at least 3 hours per week. Part of this time can be as a family thing, say on a Friday night for example? Make it a happy time, a fun event! This is REAL dharma. Also spent as much time as you can spare meditating and do some each day. You will find that you will transform your life and become a real dharma practitioner as apposed to a dharma-tourist.
If you would rather discuss this by e-mail instead of on your blog post, I’d love to chat about it with you further.
sounds like a good idea
Bah, I’ve been learning from your conversations! Oh well, I’ll stop being nosy
sorry
*chuckles* I’ll live somehow.
I do have another question, though - although I suspect I know the answer.
I have no problems motivating myself to read Buddhist texts on a regular basis; what I have problems doing is getting into a routine of meditating. I suspect it’s because I’m in pain pretty much constantly, and meditating feels like one more thing to do in an already overtaxing schedule. Any suggestions on ways to change that, other than ‘just do it’?
Think about death! That will motivate you…seriously though…meditating on the precious opportunity of a human rebirth and the fact that you don’t live under an oppressive political system, coupled with meditation on death is a very good cure for this misconception.
We all know that we will die. But we think not today, probably not this week nor this year.
But at some point you and I will die. So why not just get it over with now rather than waiting for the prefect moment to practice to arrive. I mean, which will come first…the right time to practice or death?
Also by reading regularly, say a little each day you are training yourself for the future. At some point it will no longer seem a chore and will turn into a pleasurable activity. It will be hard to stop not start.
Ha! Good points, all very true. I’ll try applying them tonight. Thank you!
I think that it is also good to appreciate the benefits of study and practice.
There is plenty of evidence around to show the benefits of meditation
http://lodenjinpa.com/2008/01/02/a-possible-reason-for-unexplained-gamma-increases-in-tibetan-monks/
But not so for study. I am currently working on a couple of posts to address this issue.
I see people even in my own tradition who fail to fully grasp the benefits of study.
best of luck
Your advice has helped, so you know. I’m making steady progress at getting meditation built into my daily routine. I still forget now and then, and my sessions aren’t long, but I’d rather be consistent than protracted. So thank you!
*grins* It was actually your reminder that we’ll all die that was the best prod. Thank you again.
Hi Arwen,
Your right consistency is the key to a successful meditation practice.
So keep up with your meditation and things will get better and better.
check out this post for more details…Why can’t I meditate
*chuckles* Actually, that post was what suggested to me that you might be a good person to ask for advice. It sounded so very senisible and logical, and I needed a little bit of a nudge.