Author Archive for Loden Jinpa

Do you remember this verse by Dromtonpa (1005-1064) from the article on the tools for meditation?

Some think, Meditators do not need to study; those who teach need to study. Actually, learning is more necessary for the meditator; teachers may just incur the fault of explaining something incorrectly.

Have you thought about it’s meaning? It is pretty simple really. Dromtonpa is saying; it is vital for a meditator to study in order to properly understand what to meditate on. This may sound obvious however, for many studying or doing philosophy is thought of as getting in the way of real practice. Dromtonpa, however, is saying, it is more important for a meditator to study than a teacher, because all a teacher can do is say something wrong. Whereas a meditator who has not studied, could potentially waste years meditating on an incorrect object or wrong understanding of the nature of reality - Emptiness¹.

In this essay I intend to argue (not in the sense of a quarrel but, rather in the sense of a philosophical argument or essay) that studying philosophy is a form of dharma practice in and of itself. That there is real and tangible benefits in the practice of studying philosophy. Moreover studying philosophy is vital if one is seriously engaging the Buddhist path. Without the ability to think deeply and clearly on subjects such as; the nature of conditioned existence or Dependant Arising, these subjects cannot be properly understood. Do you really expect to be able to meditate on these subjects, if you cannot think deeply and clearly on them? In fact, I would argue, without the ability to analyze and use critical thinking, even the compassion spoken of in Buddhism cannot be fully developed. Therefore the wisdom lineage, as in “method and wisdom”, pervades the method lineage.

The late Gelug lama Geshe Jampa Gyatso, who was one of my teachers, a great scholar and meditation master² once said:

The Kadampa Geshes have a saying:
‘Meditating without having listened to teachings
is like someone without hands trying to climb a snow mountain’.

In order to fully appreciate the benefits of philosophical knowledge. I believe a distinction needs to be made between studying philosophy and doing philosophy. There has been much made of the worthiness of Buddhist scholars. That perhaps they are merely academics. That their knowledge of the dharma is merely knowledge for the sake of knowledge. This sentiment has, at times, caused me great concern, because I feel it is sometimes used as an excuse to do no study at all. Although there will be a time when a practitioner needs to focus almost exclusively on meditation. This is only after gaining a proper foundation in Buddhist thought. While it is true that some people think all they need to do is meditate. That thinking gets in the way of real practice and that study is for teachers and academics, upon reflection most people can see this to be incorrect. However these people may not intuitively see the benefits of doing philosophy. Therefore I will attempt to detail the difference between studying philosophy and doing philosophy.

Studying Philosophy vs Doing Philosophy

Studying is generally thought of as, the act of analyzing a given subject as a means of understanding that subject. However more often than not, we engage this process by merely learning definitions and divisions. We then think we know the material. If we are studying computer programming as a means to find employment this method of study is fine. We will be able to find suitable work and earn a living. However, this approach doesn’t work when it comes to the study of dharma. Why? Because the purpose of studying dharma is not merely the collection of information. Understanding the dharma is not merely the ability to repeat the definition and divisions of a text.

Philosophical truths are not things that we look up in books; they are truths we acquire by hearing, reading, thinking, contemplation and meditation. If you merely report what someone else says, then you are not doing the thinking for yourself. Moreover, doing philosophy requires analysis and an ability to think critically. As Buddhist practitioners, we need to unearth the wisdom of an ancient tradition for ourselves. Therefore we need to think for ourselves. We are not reinventing the dharma wheel, but we are discovering that wheel for ourselves.

Doing philosophy is therefore an investigation into the fundamental ideas and concepts we hold as true. We must challenge our every day assumptions of personal identity, free-will and even if enlightenment is possible! Doing philosophy is taking, for example, the idea that all phenomena are dependant on causes and conditions, parts and an imputing consciousness and, critically and rigorously investigating these assertions to see if in fact, this is the case. Being able to merely explain Dependant Arising is therefore not doing philosophy and therefore I suggest it is also not studying philosophy.

However this investigation is only part of the process of doing philosophy. Developing responses to these questions is an important component in this process. Traditionally in India and in the monastic traditions of Tibet, this process of doing philosophy was engaged through debate. But this required the participants be in one place at the same time.

On the other hand, in western philosophy³ this same conversation of the rigorous questioning of our unchallenged assumptions takes place via a written essay. In this tradition, the essay is the central communications device. It is the tool used to tease out from our subconscious those assumptions, to investigate them, and to formulate clear and concise thoughts on them. The written essay speaks our ideas, if you like. There is also the tradition in western philosophy of other philosophers responding to our claims via their own essays. Bringing to the conversation, points of difference, counter-arguments and objections. In this tradition the same conversation of “call and response”, takes place, albeit over a longer period of time.

My point here is, I would like to see more of this type of conversation take place between western Buddhists. We as a tradition can leverage our own cultural heritage in the form of essay writing, and use it to benefit both Buddhism and our own understanding of it. Lets not leave this conversation to only university professors and those from academia that merely engage it because it is interesting. Let us learn how to communicate as they do, and use these tools to forward the project of presenting Buddhism to the west.

There are also other benefits by communicating in this way. The most powerful of which is; writing as a means of learning. When writing in your own words for example, what is meditation, your thoughts on the subject need to be very clear. Writing is therefore a tool for learning and engaging the tradition. The other advantage is that others may also benefit from your efforts. This is something that western university philosophy departments have been acutely aware of for some time. Much emphasis is placed on the ability to think critically and write clearly. Because of the importance of these skills, students of western philosophy in universities are taught how to read and write critically.

Raising Possible Objections

Some people might object to the argument that doing philosophy is a practice in and of itself. They might say that knowledge for knowledge sake is a waste of time. That wisdom will arise through meditation alone. They assume that study is knowledge for knowledge sake. They do this because they fail to see the distinction between doing philosophy and knowing lots of different stuff. As to whether wisdom will naturally arise through meditation. I believe that even the action of meditation comes from learning it from a teacher or a book. So, if one needs to hear and think about how to meditate, how can the ultimate nature of reality dawn without any guidance? Surely if this were the case we would have already finished the job of becoming enlightened.

Others criticize those who debate details of, for example, the view of emptiness or the meaning of cessation. They believe that these things are beyond conceptuality and therefore; speaking, debating (as in the monastic sense) and discussing them will not bear fruit. That one should just meditate, they might say. However, these people fail to understand that discussion is part of the process of hearing, thinking and meditating. While it may be true that the direct cognition of emptiness is beyond words. That does not invalidate the benefits gained by investigating the nature of such things. Moreover, I would assert that in order for the direct non-conceptual cognition of emptiness to arise, it must be proceeded by a conceptual cognition, which is a union of calm-abiding and special insight. This union in turn is proceeded by thinking about the meaning of emptiness. So you can see from this, an understanding of the ultimate truth of all phenomena starts by deeply, clearly and critically contemplating the meaning of reality.

Yet others may think that combining western and Buddhist philosophy will weaken what the Buddha had to say. Besides that fact that this counter-argument commitments the Straw-person fallacy⁴, I would suggest that if something is worth believing, it is worthy of critical analysis. If the basic assertions of Buddhism are true, then these assertions will be validated when placed under critical analysis. I would also suggest that we are not conflating two traditions but, rather leveraging the tools of one tradition for the betterment of the other.

Summary and Call to Action

Given the different locations and time zones of Buddhist scholars, authors and practitioners, using the tool of essay writing to discuss ideas and thoughts on philosophical truths seems like the perfect communication device. I would like to see those in the position to do so, begin to engage each other in this way. I don’t know where or how that would happen. Perhaps one of the Buddhist magazines could help publish and distribute these essays much like university academic philosophical journals do.

In this essay I have tried to posit the benefits of rigorous investigation and critical thinking as a means of gaining insights. That is to say, studying philosophy is not merely knowledge for knowledge sake. That it can in fact be an actual dharma practice. Much of the Buddhist path is made up of insights and perspectives. So if we are to achieve the paths to enlightenment, we need to develop these insights and perspectives. In order to do that, we need to challenge our everyday assumptions on how things exist. Thus we must do philosophy.

Footnotes:

1. Emptiness is a technical Buddhist term that relates to the ultimate nature of reality [↩]
2. At the time of his death, Geshe Jampa Gyatso remained in clear light for seven days [↩]
3. though perhaps this is merely my observation based on limited exposure to this tradition [↩]
4. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Straw_man [↩]

According to many, our mind plays a major role in the quality of our life and how we relate to both oneself and others. Understanding this, we can come to better understand ourselves and, thereby make extraordinary advances in what Aristotle called eudemonia, or the good life. Eudemonia is a sense of well-being, a deeply seated feeling of joy. Not the happy-happy-joy-joy type but, a grounded feeling of contented joy that is both stable and constant. One that is unshakable even in the face of modern life with all its problems and difficulties.

You Are Your Own Friend

All living beings want a happy life and, every living being wants to be free of any form of suffering. Everyone has this innate wish, the wish for greater happiness, and it is not a selfish wish. However we often employ erroneous methods in our endeavor to find happiness or eudemonia. Many people, believing that happiness can be found through physical stimuli or financial security, spend their entire lives chasing after money, power and fame only to be exhausted by their efforts. They may spend countless hours building businesses and careers only to find themselves struggling with feelings of loneliness or even guilt for being away from their families. Does this mean you cannot have a good job or career? Does this mean you cannot enjoy a wealth of resources? Good cars, nice restaurants or the latest pair of shoes? No, it certainly does not. But, if we think that happiness will be gained once we have this or that item, this way of thinking will surely end in tears! It is not money, fame or power that are the causes of problems, rather it is how we relate to them that is the real cause of our problems. We usually struggle to gain them and when we finely do achieve this or that we grasp onto them thinking…my precious…my precious.

This shows that happiness or suffering is generated from within our own mind. Clearly everything is dependent on mind. And this is great news.

Knowing that happiness can be found from within the mind, we have a real chance, right now, right here, to begin softening our mind to include the actual causes of happiness.

1. Compassion.
2. Friendliness.
3. Patience.
4. Wisdom.

All these minds can be cultivated. It is possible through practice to increase compassion for both oneself and others. In the Buddhist tradition compassion starts with being compassionate towards yourself. Do you really think it is possible to have real compassion for others yet, not for yourself? By having compassion for oneself we are able to have faults yet not let these faults become overwhelming and all consuming. If this were to happen these so-called faults become obstacles. We can start to identify with them. I am a terrible person. I have this problem or I have that problem. But these faults can also be our teacher. They can show us what we need to work on. By not identifying and grasping onto our faults we can place some space between them and us. We simply recognize faults as faults and, we endeavor to remove them from our minds.

This is where the tool of meditation comes into play. Meditation is not just something you do in order to lower your blood pressure, or remove stress. It is also a tool used to develop positive minds like compassion, love and wisdom. This is why monks meditate and it is also the object of their meditations. They meditate In order to develop their minds and to remove neurotic states of consciousness. The end result is what in Buddhism is called enlightenment. Enlightenment is merely the experience of infinite love, compassion and wisdom. It is the final experience of a fully developed mind. It is something that you and I can achieve. Once this is achieved you are then in a real position to help others. You don’t stop living. An enlightened person carries on life after life showing others how to achieve this same experience called enlightenment.

You Are Your Own Protector

No one can force you to begin the process of turning inwards. It is something that you must decide to do for yourself. Turning inwards is something that Buddhist monks have done for more than 2500 years. The process of introspection is not about focusing only on yourself at the exclusion of everyone else, nor is it about sitting in a cave blanking out. Rather, turning inwards, is an active investigation into who we really are and how life really works! What western philosophers call doing philosophy. Only you can make the choice to begin doing philosophy.
The Buddha once said:

You are your own protector
Who else will be this protector.
By thoroughly knowing themselves
The wise will attain higher status.

This investigation is not an easy task. It can take time, effort and patience. That is why unfortunately, most people don’t even begin. However it can be an extremely satisfying and incredibly rewarding journey. Not only for yourself but, also for your family, friends and others you meet through life. You don’t need to go off to a mountain cave or wear funny clothes in order to start. Changing your life starts right now, right here!

There is a funny story that will illustrate my point quite well. It is an old Tibetan story about the meaning of practising patience.

There was once an old lama who was the abbot of a monastery in Eastern Tibet. The monastery like many in Tibet sat at the base of a mountain. He lived there with his attendant, a cook and many many students. The lama was a famous scholar and a great yogi (meditation master). People would come from all over Tibet to hear his lectures. One day the cook came to the abbot and said, ‘Lama I have decided to go off to the mountain caves to meditate. I now see that my life is impermanent and, I think it is important that I no longer waste time with mundane things’. The Lama asked the cook what he planned to meditate on, what subject. The cook replied patience, and then said, ‘will you let me go?’ The Lama agreed. So the cook prepared for his journey, all excited that he was finally getting his chance to meditate and practice the dharma. The following day he set off, taking with him just the clothes on his back and some tsampa (Tibetan roasted barley)to eat. It took two hours of trekking to reach the cave but, once he did he felt so good, so happy he almost cried. He told himself, ‘Now I will achieve enlightenment’, or so he thought!

About a week later the lama called for his attendant. He said, ‘Please go up to the mountain and find my cook. Once you have found the cave he is in, sneak in and slap him across his face!’ And so the attendant did as he was asked. He found the cave, snuck up to the cook and, slapped him across the face as hard as he could.

The cook angrily leapt from his meditation shouting, ‘How dare you interrupt my practice you fool!’ The cook chased the attendant down the mountain, all the way back to the monastery. As they reached the monastery and came around the last corner, there was the lama waiting. ‘How is your meditation now?’ he asked.

So, the meaning behind this story is, we have all the necessary circumstances to transform our lives right here and right now. We don’t need to go off to some exotic land of Lamas or some magical shangri-la to find happiness. It is found right within our own minds.

The process of transformation to a being endowed with compassion, empathy, love and wisdom begins with one simple thought…I can do this…I will do this!

The rest will naturally follow. In this way we are our own protectors.

1. Meditate.
2. Meditate more.
3. Meditate even more.
4. Meditate even more than that.
5. Meditate when you don’t want to.
6. Meditate when you do.
7. Meditate when you have something to meditate on.
8. Meditate when you don’t.
9. Meditate every day.
10. Keep meditating.

Seriously though there is a lesson in there. Think like a meditator, be like a meditator. Which is by the way the title of a forth coming blog post I’m currently working on.

I know I said I had decided to not go ahead with the forums site but…

When I started to look into running a forum, as part of my investigation (I had never even visited one until then) I had purchased the domain BuddhistForums.net as well as hosting for the site. I also installed the software, created a logo for testing purposes. This was all part of the learning process. I wanted to see just how much work it was going to be before starting proper.

However in the time since deciding to not go ahead with the site, Google has index the site - with a ranking of 9th for the search term Buddhist Forums - and someone has found the site, registered and posted (although a slightly spamish post). This all without doing anything. I had posted a couple of test threads (if that is what you call them?) but, nothing else. I had not linked to the site. I told my closest friend (also a monk) about it. But he told no one. In fact he visited it once and we didn’t eve really talk about the site at all.

So, given that I have already paid for a domain, hosting and spent time creating logo’s, installing the software and Google has somehow found the site. I will launch the site and just see what happens. If it works fine! If not fine!

So here we go Buddhist Forums is now open.

NOTE: BuddhistForums.net is running advertising¹. I intend to build this site up to be a source of income. Just enough for the site to pay for itself and perhaps pay for my rent. This will allow me to concentrate on dharma i.e. writing more, blogging more and meditating more. Rather than having to work as a web developer in order to survive. For this reason alone there are ads and sponsorships available on the site. If the situation changes then I will remove the ads. It is not driven by profit but, simply a possible way of channeling my activity towards Buddhist related activities that can also pay my way through life. I hope you all understand. I wish the situation was different but, as many other western monks and nuns are not supported like they are in traditional Buddhist culture, I need to find income. If I can do that by providing Dharma services such as a forums on Buddhism then great.

Also I would really appreciate it if, those of you with blogs could let your readers know about the site. If you wish your can use the Buddhistforums.net logo to spice up your post.

Thanks,

LJ

Footnotes:

1. I plan to run this for only the time needed [↩]

I will be presenting classes on meditation at the Sunbury Community Health Centre starting May 6th and running through to June 10th.

Meditation - Key to a Calmer Life

A practical approach to improving health, happiness and relaxation through meditation. The main aim is to develop a clear, happy mind free of tension and stress. This effective short course is facilitated by the Tibetan Buddhist Society. This program has been running for over 10 years with excellent feedback from participants, many of whom have repeated the program.
May 6 - June 10

Email: fionata@sunburychc.org.au
Time: Tuesday 7:30 - 8:30pm
Venue: Sunbury Community Health Centre
Cost: $65 for 6 weeks
Contact: Fiona Tanner 9744-9564
Dates: 06 May 08 - 10 June 08

Click Here to download Application Form

Learning to meditate is a creative process of persistent enthusiastic effort in becoming familiar with functional minds such as the minds of compassion and the wisdom the knows emptiness. Being able to meditate deeply is not something that will naturally happen over night. Would you expect to become an artist or musician after just one lesson?

Artists and musician’s have their tools of the trade, as do meditators. What are these tools? Below is a list along with short explanations of each. However the list is by no means an exhaustive list.

There are external tools for meditation such as

1. A dedicated room or place within a room.
2. Cushion.
3. Blanket.
4. Table for books and meditation manuals.

and there are internal tools for meditation such as

1. An appreciation of the benefits of meditation.
2. Awareness of attention.
3. Enthusiasm.
4. Patience.
5. Knowledge.

So lets now expand on each of these a little.

A dedicated room or place within a room for meditation
It is useful to have a dedicated place for your meditation practice. By having a dedicated place for meditation you are saying to yourself:

I believe meditation is an important and worthwhile activity. I see the advantages it can bring to my life, my family and everyone I engage with throughout my life. For this reason I believe it is important enough to have it’s own dedicated space.

You will also be reminded every time you walk by the room. There are other benefits also besides these for instance; When I was young my grandfather, who we called “green pa” because he had a green car, had a shed in his backyard. My grandmother knew that when he was in his shed he could not be disturbed. My grandfather use to build things for people out of wood. It was like a meditation for him. So similarly, we need our own shed - a meditation shed. A place where we can build things like the minds of compassion, wisdom, equanimity and develop the skills to really help others.

Meditation Cushion
You don’t need to sit on the floor or in a crossed legged position to meditate. Meditation is a mental activity not a physical one but, you do need to be comfortable. If you are not comfortable it will be difficult to develop a deep and stable practice. So when you are first starting out, pay attention to how your body feels. If pain arises, try and fix it by adjusting your position slightly. However don’t fuss over this process. Don’t spend too much time worrying about the pain or discomfort. Otherwise this checking could itself become an obstacle to meditation.

Also, sitting in a chair is permissible. However sitting as the great meditators of the past did is best if you can. Why? Because adopting a cross legged position is a powerful signal to yourself that it is now time to meditate. However if you are sitting in a chair make sure it is not the same chair you use to have afternoon naps, as your meditation will probably just turn into more sleeping.

Also the cushion is to keep you comfortable. It is not a fashion item, or a decorative piece. Don’t turn your meditation practice into another worldly activity.

Meditation Blanket
There are two types of meditation blankets. One to keep you warm and one for keeping your hands comfortable. If you are too warm by having too many blankets wrapped around your body this can induce sleep. So make certain you are comfortable and warm while leaving some space for the air to flow around your body. Remember your meditating not sleeping!

The second type is for your hands. Place a soft piece of fabric or a fold of your blanket under your hands, this will help your mind relax. The sooner you relax the quicker your meditation will develop. However meditation is not just about deep relaxation, so don’t allow yourself to fall into the abyss of sleepiness. It is very much like tuning your mind. Too tight and conceptualization will occur, too loose and you will end up wasting time in the fogginess of laxity. In this regard meditation is a creative ongoing process of adjusting between too tight and too loose. So have fun learning to meditate!

If you live in a noisy area try using ear plugs.

Meditation Table
This tool is simply to allow you to read guided meditation manuals or writing notes without having to get up from your meditation seat. Not all meditation is about only focusing the mind. You can meditate on subjects that are quite subtle and difficult to understand. So you might need a couple of books handy in order to consult.

An appreciation of the benefits of meditation
This tool cannot be overemphasized. However an appreciation of the benefits of meditation can only develop over time as you see first hand the benefits. So given this some what difficult premise, that is, an appreciation of the benefits of meditation can only come after you see the benefits of meditation, try and research articles or stories of the benefits of meditation in order to inspire. If you like biographies, read the biographies of great yogis like Milarepa. If you are a science type, find articles on the science of meditation or http://www.danielgoleman.info/blog/2008/01/01/the-inexplicable-monks/ to inspire you. The point is, many have said there is benefits in learning to meditate. However the only way you can verify these benefits is to learn to meditate yourself.

Reading inspiring stories will help develop an aspiration to engage in meditation. Aspiration is the key to a successful practice. Without an aspiration to engage in meditation, even if you have all the external tools of the trade, the best cushions, a dedicated room, a beautiful meditation table made of fine antique timber, you will still find yourself watching television or finding some excuse to not meditate. It’s amazing just how sophisticated some excuses can be. Don’t get fooled by them.

Awareness of attention
Are you aware of your thoughts right now? Probably not. As you are reading this your mind is engaged in the process of reading. But, there are other things going on that you may not be aware of. I’m not just talking about being mindful per se but, rather a broader class of attention. It might even be classified as intention. I think it is more like being attentive of your intentions. What does that mean? If your intention is to sit down to meditate, be certain that is what you end up doing. Don’t spend your time worrying about money, or your job, or your children or your broken finger nail or whether your football team is going to win on the weekend. If you come up with some cool new idea for a project that will help get you a great new job. Jot down the idea while remaining seated, then continue meditating until you finish. Then start thinking about the idea after that. Actually this can be an issue. Because as your meditation deepens you will find that creativity can increase. So watch out for this one. Don’t let yourself go off day-dreaming or speculating about the future. Be attentive of your intention to meditate.

Through this, stability will develop. Stability is a lack of being here, there and everywhere! Stability will arise at the same time as conceptualization decreases. But conceptualization can only decrease if you do not engage it. It is a little like ignoring someone who is standing near you asking the same questions over and over again. If you ignore them long enough they will eventually go away.

For this reason it is also good to meditate at the same time of day, each day. This will allow you to develop the habit of meditating rather than spending this time stressing over things that can, in the end, be dealt with later.

Enthusiasm
This tool is the meditators engine. It is the one thing that will get you out of bed early every morning to meditate. It is closely linked with appreciation. So when you feel your enthusiasm waning, go back to internal tool # 1 and read something inspiring.

The more you appreciate the results of meditation, the more your enthusiasm will increase. But, be careful because too much meditation can be a large factor in destroying enthusiasm for meditation. So be smart with how much meditation you do. If you are new to meditation aim to meditate everyday for at least 20 minutes and, build from there. The goal would be 3-4 hours a day everyday. When you get to this point. The problem won’t be trying to meditate it will be stopping.

Patience
Patience is a necessary ingredient to a successful meditation practice. It is not only a willingness to practice. It is a steadfastness in the face of difficulties. When meditation gets boring, patience will be that voice in your head encouraging you to keep trying. It can be your best friend in meditation. Always there with kind words to help and encourage you along. When you have patience you can except difficulties without resistance. And if you have no resistance you will become irresistible! Just joking.

The point is be patient, with the right motivation, meditation can be the best thing you can do with your life. Wisdom, compassion and knowledge of how to help others will develop naturally. Then you can be of use to both yourself and others. Does that sound like something worth campaigning for? Geshe Loden my teacher often says, most people only campaign for this life. Thinking about having more money, a better car or a better looking body. Not so many campaign for better future lives! Which one do you want to be?

Knowledge
The topic of Buddhist wisdom used as both a method for the use within meditation and as the result of meditation, will be covered in an upcoming post entitled Buddhism as Philosophy.

But I will leave you with a quote from DromTompa the famous disciple of Atisha

Some think, Meditators do not need to study; those who teach need to study. Actually, learning is more necessary from the meditator; teachers may just incur the fault of explaining something incorrectly.

Do you see his point? I will let you think about it and explain what I think he is saying in the post on Knowledge.

I often get asked, what people can do during the last days of a loved one.
Below is some simply advice for anyone currently dealing with death.

What to do when someone is dying
Generally speaking, just having good thoughts and memories of your loved one will be helpful both to you and your loved one(s). Getting upset, crying or getting angry, will only serve to make things worse. A persons state of mind at the time of death is important for a good rebirth. Therefore it is best to help the dying person remain calm and happy. Reminding them of events that will only cause problems is not a skillful action. So try to avoid this as much as possible.

If you feel so inclined, you and if possible, the dying person can meditate on compassion and loving-kindness for all sentient beings.

Start off the meditation by not focusing on a friend, as this can cause people to get upset and attachment to arise. Think about someone like a work friend or someone similar. Someone that you know and care for but, who is not too close that attachment will arise. Then as the meditation continues, add more and more people into the scope of your attention. In the end add all beings, even your enemies if you can without causing issues. Then this is the important part, try and develop a feeling that all the beings in the scope of your meditation are of equal importance to you. Why? because all beings want happiness and do not want suffering. No one wants to die, not even the worse people! But, we all have to leave our bodies behind. We all come into the world naked and all we leave naked. In this regard we are all the same, we are all equal. Try and develop a sense of equanimity towards all beings. This will happy remove attachment for friends and family and anger for people you feel have done you wrong. Buddhist assert that someone who dies with this type of mind is very likely to have a good rebirth.

In terms of a Buddhist prayers for the dying you and if possible the dying person can recite the following prayer.

By this virtue (reciting this prayer), at the instant of death, may you take rebirth in Tushita (a heavenly realm). May you meet the limitless Bodhisattvas and be cared for by Maitreya, our supreme refuge.

Through the fire of great love, the wood of hatred is burnt.
Through the light of pristine awareness, the darkness of ignorance is dispelled. To the Regent of the Dharma (Maitreya Buddha) abiding in Tushita, I prostrate.

Also, learn the death process itself. If the dying person is a Buddhist and they want to hear. Read to them the explanation of the death process. This will also be useful for when we are dying.

As a side note you may have wondered why do Buddhist meditate of death and dying this post may shed some insight.

Like a nurturing mother bird,
The lama took me under his wing.
Feeding me the knowledge of Dharma.
Can I ever repay his kindness?

Geshe Thubten Loden’s biography

To the reader that emailed me recently regarding Buddhist epistemology and Buddhist metaphysics.
Your email address is bouncing back. So I can’t reply to your email.
You will need to try sending through your email again.